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it is a good job I did not make it a resolution this year to not just completely lose my shit on a coach to Bedford because jeez
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my new year’s resolutions do not include ‘eating two (2x) acutely quartered pork pies off a paper plate at 7am’ but here we are, people
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got served Leffe in ASDA while wearing an Optimus Prime mask on my head #BOXINGDAY #achievementunlocked
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here is a picture of me looking like a brain retard in some rad socks (styling by @jemgol, photo by @hayleycampbelly): http://t.co/9ashWeA5
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douchey atheists are so interminably smug that I think I just found God #REALTALK
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The Dude Who Has an Entire Bacon Sandwich in his Rucksack Apparently, Jeez, a biography of a guy on the tube by his co-passenger, Joel Golby
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A Review of My New Socks, by Joel Golby aged 24 years five months 17 days: I am p. into my new socks #WOOLLY
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MORNING CROWD. I wrote you some wee-ass little stories, yesterday: http://t.co/VWOyEPqL
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HEY, LONDON: fuck you if you don’t i. pretend to smoke a cigarette or ii. impersonate a choo-choi train today #FORKIM
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Q. If Will Smith did indeed tell his Momma that he’d never make a whack jam then how much did she whoop him for recording Nod Your Head
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morning you fucking NERDS. I have never seen an episode of the Sopranos. SO WHAT’S UP NOW, HUH?
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my epitaph, in full: “here lies Joel Golby, the Michael Jordan of eating carbohydrates.”
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RT @hayleycampbelly: @joelgolby I searched for @joelgolby on the new twitter for iPhone and these were the results: http://t.co/TgB8vVJH
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I FOUND A BOUNCY BALL AND AM DRUNK
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we’re deep into I Can’t Remember How to Tie a Scarf season, people
